it's tentatively called Life and Other Punishments. it's about a girl named isa. isa was left on the stoop of a siberian orphange when she was a week old. she was discovered by orphanage worker aisha, who was from india. aisha discovered that isa was missing her pinky finger, and was also really small due to isa's mother's smoking habit. everyone agrees isa will not get adopted, and so aisha names the baby isa after her desceased mother. isa moves to a foster home, and when she is 11 aisha is killed. isa becomes so depressed that her foster parents cant handle it and isa is sent to another foster home in the far north of siberia. these foster parents are already fostering a girl called bao who is isa's age. bao is chinese and has a terrid life. the girls become fast friends. when they are 15, a bomb is dropped on their hometown and their foster parents are killed. the girls are sent to a temporary place to stay, in which they are sharing a room filled with orphans with nowhere to go. the girls decide to run away. they make it to a big city, and find a truck triver who can take them to magadan and has a friend who can take them to the chinese border. they get to moscow in one piece, and then go with the truck driver's friend to the border. the driver rapes isa and tells her not to tell, else she and bao will be killed. isa doesn't tell, but when she and bao are in china she discovers she is pregnant. now, isa is 15, pregnant by rape, in a foreign city with nowhere to go. luckily, bao can speak mandarin chinese and gets a job. isa begins to try to track down aisha's family in india. the girls do not have enough money, and when isa is 4 months pregnant they are evicted. they start to hitchike to beijing. when they get there they steal an abandoned car and plan to drive as far away as they can. they make it a few miles from the mongolian border before the car breaks down. they find themselves tranded. a group of drunk men comes along and attempts to kidnap/murder/whatever them. isa becomes frightful for her baby's life, and in that moment she truly sees how she can be a mother and how much she loves her baby. this gives her the strength to knock out one of the men. bao grabs his gun and threatens them. she ends up shooting one who tries to grab her. he is badly injured and the men drive away. a man appears on horseback, saying he is from mongolia and he is amazed at what they did. he offers to take them to his home, 20 or so miles into mongolia. the girls go with him. isa is 6 months pregnant at this point. the man's wife is a midwife and helps isa out. they beg the girls to stay with them and their family until the baby is born. isa and bao agree. bao works with the family in the farm they own, while isa works in the kitchen since she is pregnant. when isa finally goes into labor, her baby is breech and she loses a lot of blood. the midwife says she will most likely die, but when isa sees her baby, she becomes determined to live. she names the little girl aisha after aisha, and quickly heals. everyone is shocked. when aisha is 4 months old, isa meets a man from america who is teaching at the local school. she falls in love with him, and he, named markus loves her too. she tells him she is 20, even though she is barely 16. a year and a half later, he is going back to america. isa begs him to take her and the baby, she wants aisha to have a good life. he takes them, but isa has to leave bao behind. it kills her to do this. she lives with the man's mother, martha, who loves isa and aisha. the day after aisha's second birthday, isa gets a letter from mongolia saying bao has died. isa almost kills herself, but for the sake of her daughter she doesn't. more stuff happens, and the book ends with isa giving birth to her second daughter by markus (who has also died but im not sure of how). aisha, who is 10 at this point, comes over to see her baby half sister and asks what isa will name her. isa smiles and says "bao." nd i know there might be some plot holes, but it's just in the roughroughrough stage and i will work everything out. it'll be a good siezed novel, around 400-500 pages. the pinkie thing will turn up more in the actual story. it is very important, trust me. it's not supposed to be a romance. in the book i want to make it healvily imply that isa is faking her love for markus and really only wants to be able to go to america. Yes, I am going to change a whole lot. I know that a ton of things aren't realistic and I seriously to not plan to even consider getting this published until I have done all my research and really made sure everything is probable. I am going to work on it.
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1 :
Sounds actually like a really good story. But to answer your question: it'd have to be extremely well written and entertaining since I now know the ending.
2 :
Actually, yes I would. Just don't kill of markus and you'll be alright.
3 :
yes its a good start i would read it
4 :
it sounds really good and i'll be looking forward to it! but the pinkie thing sorta creeps me out! i was thinking the whole time "omg the girl doesn't have one of her pinkies!" otherwise it sounds like a great story!
5 :
That's a pretty good book. Would help if you'd add a bit of detail like how markus died and if isa got married again. Maybe if markus ever found out isa wasn't really 20. Or if the man that raped isa was punished. How did Bao die?? But otherwise story is awesome!
6 :
Possibly. It sounds like a good romance, but I'm not sure if I'd read it for the plot. Pregnant women in stories just aren't my cup of tea. But it sounds okay. If you do a lot of research on pregnant women and write it really well, I'm sure I'll be a really good story. And I'd cry if you killed Markus(try Marcus, I'd be a lot easier and better), I advise you not to kill him. It just wouldn't go very well.
7 :
Ok, not to be mean or anything, but... I am being honest. =) The title already turns me off. You said that Life and Other Punishments is tentative right now, and I strongly suggest changing it. What you've got now sounds way too melodramatic - like a Gossip Girl book or something. Good lord, how much suffering are you putting these characters through?! I understand that many people, especially in the more remote parts of the world where you've got your story set, go through things that I can't even imagine, but the sheer amount of bad luck that your characters experience seems unrealistic to me. Take out some of the drama, please. How do we know that Isa's mother smoked if Isa was abandoned as a baby? That a baby is small doesn't necessarily mean that its mother had any kind of habit. I hate how you phrased this - "luckily, bao can speak mandarin chinese..." Luckily? Why didn't the characters plan this out earlier - knowing that Bao can speak Mandarin, Isa & Bao should *plan* to go to China and utilize this skill, not rely on luck. In China, when Isa & Bao steal the abandoned car... (by the way, you can't really "steal" something that's abandoned) ...if the car is abandoned, why does it work? Not many people are willing to abandon a working car. It is unrealistic that a pregnant teenager would be able to knock out a full-grown man, whether he's drunk or not. You've got tons of cop-outs in this story: the man who runs into Isa & Bao just *happens* to be married to a midwife is one that particularly bothers me. I think you've got an exciting story in your mind, but you'll really have to work on it. Definately take out some of the bad luck/suffering/drama - everything you've got crammed in the lives of Isa, Aisha, and Bao is too much like a soap opera to be believable. The ending is a bit sweet, but by that point the characters kind of deserve it. All in all - your story isn't perfect, but it's got potential. Good luck with your writing.
8 :
Nope, sounds depressing. There is no key moment that raises Isa up. Maybe she could find herself near a college or school that she goes to and becomes better educated. Therefore thinking on a higher level. Also if given up at birth the people wouldn't know Isa is small due to drugs.
9 :
I agree with everything Dani has said. You're just killing off everybody. Is this just for the drama or is there a point to everyone dying? How do they know Isa's mother was a smoker if she was abandoned? Is there actually a foster parent system in Siberia? And why are they bombing a remote Siberian town? Too many holes in the story. I know you said there are plot holes, but did you think about these? Aisha, Isa, Siberia, another Isa, India, another Aisha - this sounds like a Dr. Seuss book. After you edit, edit and edit yet again, post it back here. I am interested in seeing where you take this.
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